I have been thinking about writing this post for a while but I've been embarrassed about publicly admitting that I believe in magic. Our culture says that magic isn't real so anyone who believes it is must be crazy. Once I realized that this was the source of my angst I realized that it was doubly important that I take the time to think all this through. Fuck Mother Culture.
When I met Rob about two years ago, that was the first time I had met someone who considered themselves Wiccian. I didn't really buy the whole magic thing at the time but I'm open minded and in time Rob and I were married.
Lately I've begun to become close friends with a few people who I consider to be highly intelligent that happen to be really into the whole magic thing. If they believe in this, there might be something to it.
So I'm tired of storytelling. Long story short, I have determined that I am able to generate energy through my emotions. I am just starting to get into this and I am not sure what to make of it. I'm reading a book about energy that Rob got for me at the local metaphysical book shop. I guess I believe in magic now. It seems a little weird still but it is exciting. It's a whole new world opening up for me.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
art and self-absorption
I was watching an older interview with Voltaire last night that he had posted on his myspace. Voltaire said something that has really stuck with me. He said that in order to be an artist you have to be self-absorbed. What could be more narcissistic than to say "Fuck what I'm supposed to be doing. I am just going to let these ideas take over and be a slave to these ideas and create something."
I thought this was a fascinating point of view. It does take a certain amount of self-involvement in order to think that your own personal ideas and fantasies are so amazing that you should devote your life to making them a reality. I myself can be pretty vain at times. My days as of late are spent trying to realize my own creative visions via my photography and my knitting. What could be more narcissistic than thinking that someone might want to pay for something that I made?
I thought this was a fascinating point of view. It does take a certain amount of self-involvement in order to think that your own personal ideas and fantasies are so amazing that you should devote your life to making them a reality. I myself can be pretty vain at times. My days as of late are spent trying to realize my own creative visions via my photography and my knitting. What could be more narcissistic than thinking that someone might want to pay for something that I made?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Goths
Lately I have been getting into the whole goth subculture. Unfortunately, Syracuse doesn't really have a "scene" of any sort so a lot of my exploration has been through the interwebs.
I have always thought that the whole goth fashion thing was really hott but haven't ever had a way to explore the subculture. My high school had a few goth kids but my social anxiety was pretty bad back then. I spent most of high school hiding behind a book so talking to other people was usually right out.
And then in walks Justin into my life. Justin is Rob's best friend. Justin was the minister for my wedding (he and Rob have known each other since they were 3 years old). Justin also identifies as a goth. I spent quite a bit of my wedding weekend hanging out with Justin. I was like wow this kid is a killer dresser and a fascinating person to talk to.
After the wedding, I started to root around on the Internet for more information about goths. I started dressing in my version of goth attire. People told me I looked hot. I found a goth club called Vertex in Rochester that I went to one night.
Now because of the lack of anything happening in Syracuse I have constructed an idea of goth on my own. What follows is my idea of what it means to be goth. I think of goth as embracing everything and anyone. All are welcome in the goth scene. Goths like to think about those things that most people avoid, supposedly dark things, things like death and sadness. Goths seem to be such a diverse group of people that they are really hard to generalize about.
What draws me into the scene? Since I am wicked vain, I love that everyone thinks I look so good all "gothed" up. The fashion is so much fun to wear. I love clothes and make-up. Since I have never quite felt like I belonged, I love the idea of a group that is all about accepting those individuals that for whatever reason society has rejected. A lot of people involved in the scene seem to be kinda artsy and creative and I love that since I am also totally an art chick. I also love having intelligent conversation with people and goth kids are wicked smart and spend a lot of time actually thinking about shit! Goth music is also really fun. Voltaire = amazing!!
This post was even less coherent than usual but ce las vie or whatever.
XOXO,
Gnome
I have always thought that the whole goth fashion thing was really hott but haven't ever had a way to explore the subculture. My high school had a few goth kids but my social anxiety was pretty bad back then. I spent most of high school hiding behind a book so talking to other people was usually right out.
And then in walks Justin into my life. Justin is Rob's best friend. Justin was the minister for my wedding (he and Rob have known each other since they were 3 years old). Justin also identifies as a goth. I spent quite a bit of my wedding weekend hanging out with Justin. I was like wow this kid is a killer dresser and a fascinating person to talk to.
After the wedding, I started to root around on the Internet for more information about goths. I started dressing in my version of goth attire. People told me I looked hot. I found a goth club called Vertex in Rochester that I went to one night.
Now because of the lack of anything happening in Syracuse I have constructed an idea of goth on my own. What follows is my idea of what it means to be goth. I think of goth as embracing everything and anyone. All are welcome in the goth scene. Goths like to think about those things that most people avoid, supposedly dark things, things like death and sadness. Goths seem to be such a diverse group of people that they are really hard to generalize about.
What draws me into the scene? Since I am wicked vain, I love that everyone thinks I look so good all "gothed" up. The fashion is so much fun to wear. I love clothes and make-up. Since I have never quite felt like I belonged, I love the idea of a group that is all about accepting those individuals that for whatever reason society has rejected. A lot of people involved in the scene seem to be kinda artsy and creative and I love that since I am also totally an art chick. I also love having intelligent conversation with people and goth kids are wicked smart and spend a lot of time actually thinking about shit! Goth music is also really fun. Voltaire = amazing!!
This post was even less coherent than usual but ce las vie or whatever.
XOXO,
Gnome
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
